Burnt
by rumbleroar846
Summary: *gasp* It's not rated M! :O  Lol. Written as a fill for the kink meme a while ago.  James is badly burnt, and Kendall is there for him.  Crap summary, the full prompt is inside.


**Disclaimer: I don not own Big Time RUsh or Anything Associated With It**

_Prompt: James gets caught in a fire and is burned pretty badly on one side. He's really depressed because he think's he's nothing without his beauty and hides his injuries with bulky clothing, refusing to go out. Kendall (if show!verse) or Logan (if RPS) shows James that he's still beautiful in their eyes._

(The title it's under over at the kink meme is "What A Lovely Way To Burn", but obvi that's kinda lame so ergo the name change! Jtluk. Because I'm sure it was going to destroy your mental stability if I didn't bring it up, right? Right. Sure. :P)

"I'm still worried about him."

"The doctors said that he'd be fine, sweetie, or else they wouldn't've released him."

"Yeah, but Mrs. Knight, he's not himself."

"It's been two weeks, Mama Knight."

" _Exactly _, boys. Listen," she set down her steaming coffee mug on the counter, "We've all known James for a long time."

"Since we were five, mom."

Her voice softened. "Exactly. And even before the teenage hormones kicked in and you all started towering above me, he knew he picked out one of the luckier cards from the gene pile. Of course, he noticed that other people knew it, too. And he liked it."

"A lot." Carlos added.

They all nodded in agreement. James had been infamous for his appearance; the tall build decorated with muscle, the flawless skin, the perfect smile, the enormous chocolate eyes and the lush brunette tresses. Handsome wasn't enough of a description.

The reality was that, no matter how cruel, or devastating, or tragic the incident was, it could be summed up in one word: ironic.

***

James had gone in to audition for a Cuda Man Body Spray commercial. He had figured, hey, if he wasn't the _face _of Cuda, he sure as hell could be the body. The creative director had a habit of knowing what he liked as soon as he saw it, so the set was already, well, set. Hundreds of cans of body spray were on display throughout the scene. Outside the door were forty or so hopefuls itching to be chosen.

Just as the creative director knew what he liked, he could also immediately tell when he did _not _like something. His rejection was not dealt lightly. James let out a sigh of relief every time an apparently, not-handsome-enough model slumped back into the real world, knowing that he was that much closer to getting the job. One guy, he had noticed, actually slumped faster than the others. He must've been _really _pissed off.

He was. Half an hour into the go-see, that guy came back. He brought along a couple of friends, and some welding torches. Who'd ever guess that a part-time mechanic would dream of nothing more than to become a supermodel? Regardless, he thought it'd serve Mr. Creative Director right to destroy his vision. He hadn't anticipated the flammability of the body spray cans, erupting like firecrackers and engulfing the entire studio in under ten minutes. The fire raged past the set into the offices, the air ducts, and the waiting area. James had been among the group of men who actually went back in to retrieve those who were in immediate danger. On of the make-up artists later told police that, if James hadn't wrestled the burning backdrop off and dragged him outside, he'd be the coroner's problem by this time.

Every inch of the man was irrevocably damaged, and even when James saw how miniscule his injuries were compared to his, he couldn't stand the sight of himself ever since. He had been able to save his legs from permanent damage by leaning over enough when he was pulling at the canvas. Unfortunately, this submitted the rest of his left side to utter vulnerability. At night, as much as he wanted to avoid the mirror, he had to look. Before he stepped into the shower, and afterwards. He'd scrutinize all of the scar tissue, and he loathed every glimpse he got of it. He didn't go to the pool anymore; how could he? He attained special permission to be excused from attending class; his friends brought him all of his assignments. He made sure to jam himself into the car and into the studio and back out again whenever Gustavo forced them to come to rehearsals. He was a prisoner in the little bit of a world he had left.

It would've been easy to drop off the face of the earth if he didn't have such loyal friends. They didn't like the fact that he spent the majority of his new life in the apartment. After months in the hospital, they had been so eager to get back to goofing around with him. But it wasn't the same. He could tell they all saw him differently. _His own friends _were even wierded out by him. Especially Kendall. James would catch his stares the most. It was like the guy couldn't help but watch every move he made. And every word James said, it was like Kendall was picking it all apart. He figured he was safe to assume that hearing the freak speak like any other human being amused Kendall. Good, whatever. He didn't really need to think about it.

***

Their attention all snapped in the direction of the sound when James came out. He glided like a ghost to his plate, long-sleeved hoodie and sweatpants swaying to fit the simile. He made sure he didn't meet anyone's eyes when he churned out a 'good morning' through his food. "Good eggs, Mrs. Knight."

"Thank you, James."

They all just kind of sat, meekly chatting about how pushy Gustavo was yesterday and getting snippets of information about Katie's latest plot to annoy Mr. Bitters.

"You wouldn't wanna….help me out with that, James, would you?"

He put on a smile, the left side not quite perking up as much as the right. "No, Katie, I'm good. Can't wait ta hear how mad he gets, though."

"Yeah." was all she said.

"So…" Logan was next. "We were all gonna go to the park today and-"

"No thanks, man."

Carlos looked at him, "James, are you sur-"

"Yeah." he snapped. He wished he hadn't, so he tried it again, "Yeah, I'm sure, Carlos."

"Alright, well I guess we're heading out then…" Carlos and Logan stood up.

Katie slid her chair in and grabbed…a tennis racket and chocolate frosting? "Me, too."

It was almost like a silent timer had gone off, because Mrs. Knight was extracting her keys from her purse, "I'll be out shopping. Food and clothes, mommy needs new jeans. And a new red dress." Logan pretended he hadn't heard, but Carlos nudged him and chuckled.

"Kendall, ya comin'?"

"Nah, I think I'm gonna jus' chill here for a while."

James sighed and rolled his eyes, "Kendall. You're not gonna miss out your life just to sit with me."

"I know, I'm not. Later guys, don't let Carlitos up any trees."

"You got it." they filed through and slammed the door behind them, commencing awkward silence.

James wasn't going to just sit there and be the center of the pity-party. His dishes clattered into the sink, and he was making his way to his hideout when Kendall starting following him.

"James. I wanna talk."

"No thanks, Kendall." he felt those green eyes on him again.

"I wasn't _asking _, James."

"Doesn't matter. I don't really feel like talking right now."

"Or ever."

"Correct."  
He jogged forward a little and caught his hoodie and waited. "_ James _. Turn around, man. I'm not gonna stand here like I'm by myself. Look at me."

He whipped around. "WHAT? What man? What'd'ya gotta say? What'd'you want _me _to say? That I'm sad, that I'm gonna get over it? That eventually I'll become an inspiration to every damn kid out there that got roasted like a marshmallow, but it's **fine** because they have a boy band hero to look up to? THAT'S what you want me to say?"

Kendall watched him go off, eyes focused on his friend. His best effort allowed him to concentrate on the face for only so long before he had to glance at the rest. The baggy clothes didn't give much away anyway, there wasn't any point.

James thought he caught him again. "Or maybe you don't wanna talk to me at all." he growled, "Betchya just wanna look at my ugly face, don't chya, Kendall?" he ripped the hood off and let it fall back when he stepped forward. "Go on. I see you watching me all the _time _."

"You- you do?"

"Sure do. It's so disgusting it's interesting, huh? You can't stop yourself!" he turned his cheek and leaned closer. The scar tissue was blotchy, a mixture of reds and whites. It had shined over now, the dead skin already peeled away. James' left eye turned down on the outside corner now to match the side of his mouth. His nose was still essentially the same, the differentiation barely creeping up the bridge. The burns traveled down the same side on the front of his neck, and after that, Kendall didn't know. He and James shared a bedroom still, but he insisted on changing even his shirt in private. It broke Kendall's heart.

James had been observing Kendall the whole time. The boy's eyes ran all over him. "God, Kendall. You know I didn't _actually _think you'd treat me like a fucking science experiment! LIKE WHATCHYA SEE?"

"Yes." it was out before he could stop it.

He let out an exasperated chuckle. "HUH! Oh, you DO! Well that's just great, Kendall, THANKS! Hey, you know what? Why fucking stop there? If you're gonna see the freak, ya might as well see the whole fucking SHOW! HERE! Here ya go!" his arms went back, lifted the hoodie over his head, and threw it down. "YA HAPPY, KENDALL?" he spread his arms, gesturing to himself, "IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT?"

Talking was nearly impossible for Kendall now. His eyes raked over the other boy when he moved towards him. Almost the full chest, half the abs and the whole arm and hand had come in contact with the flames, all of it shined over exactly as the facial tissue was. But God, he was still there.

Targeting the accusing brown gaze with his own, he wrapped one hand around the damaged waist as the other gripped the back of James' head. They kept eye contact when Kendall brushed their lips together, pressing gently and pulling back. "It's what I've wanted for a long time, James."

He exhaled, completely stunned. "I-… you-"

"Wait." he kissed him harder, rubbing his lips against the still-so-soft pair meeting them. His right hand slipped up the still seductively-molded pecks, the ripped arm, the kind hand. He placed it on his own hip and was glad that it stayed there. He held James' shoulder secure enough that he couldn't pull back when Kendall slid his mouth over James' left cheek, planting baby kisses down the jaw line, neck, and returning to the mouth that was cracked open in shock. Kendall was tentative on this one. Cautiously, he licked at James' upper lip and added force upon the addition of James' tongue to the situation. The kiss got deeper, though somehow not in an aggressive sense. It was actually just sort of relaxing, being able to melt into each other's arms and let their mouths do the talking. But, breathlessness overpowers relaxation, and they rested their foreheads together, chuckling at the flushed appearances they were wearing.

"James," Kendall murmured, "I watch you all the time and, yeah, I can't stop myself. You know, in middle school, I thought I was just confused. You know how _every_one had to be with someone _all _the time, and I figured, 'It's because I'm jealous. I'm just trying to see him like girls see him. Yeah, then they'll like me, too.'. But then we got ta high school, and I only did it more."

"Kendall-"

"And we got here, and I listen to you sleeping, and watch you come outta the bathroom, and at the pool."

"But Kendall, it's not the same."

"For me, it is. At least…how I feel about you is."

James sucked in a breath. This was impossible. "Kendall, I'm _so_ disgusting now. You don't have to feel bad. You're not shallow-"

"_ James _." he rocked their heads, "I haven't _liked _you since the eighth grade, man."

James' face dropped in hurt and confusion, "But-"

Kendall planted a another kiss on his lips, "I've been in _love _with you for two years, James."

He gasped.

"It's a strong word, but I thought about it a long time. I figured it out when you were in the hospital. And I knew it'd freak you out, but I had ta tell you. So…there ya go. But, maybe you can still, I dunno….be open to it and we could take things slow, we could talk about it, it could be like a secret-"

"Kendall!"

"Yeah?"

"Shut _up _!" he smiled into the kiss, running his fingers through the soft, blonde hair. The smile grew wider when he felt the smaller boy pulling his body in tighter. Their lips made a popping sound when they released, and James grinned again. "So. Even though I'm totally wrecked, you still can't resist me, huh?" biting his lip.

"Not in a million years. You're just too handsome, it's not fair."

"Oh, boohoo." they melted together again, not even willing to break apart when Logan and Carlos burst through the door.

"Hey, we just forgot- WHOA!" Logan's eyes, thankfully, were fastened securely enough to his brain that they didn't pop out.

"Uh, we-"

"Nah, it's cool." Kendall waved his hand, "We were just gonna go rub some cream on James, no big deal."

"We were?" he was biting his lip again.

"Yeah." Kendall was pulling his hand. "See ya later guys!"

"Uh huh…" they said in unison.

As soon as the bedroom door closed, Carlos' hand shot out. _"Five bucks!" _

"Jeez."


End file.
